Taking a hiatus.

Messages are welcome: email me mkfwhy at this site.

UPDATE: hiding all posts.

It’s only been a little more than two weeks since our last communication. It feels like months.

Of course, I watch for new messages but I think this time there won’t be another message.

I think I’m okay with it.

So much of our communication was absolutely toxic. Really, it was a friendship that never should have happened. If I’m thinking clearly, I understand that it’s better this way.

Still, I loved my friend. The good moments were glorious.

But I know this is right. It’s okay. I’m okay.

I’m fighting with a particular thought.

Relationships (particularly friendships) are not to be kept for a long time. They are the product of a moment in time.

Billions of dots, each with its own trajectory, fly in every direction. Each has its own velocity. Each has its own intended destination, or maybe no intended destination at all. Some are attracted to other dots. Some are repulsed.

An infinite number of possibilities.

Most paths will never cross. Some will cross for only a brief moment because they are traveling in opposite directions.

The more similar the intended destination, the longer the dots will travel together.

It’s difficult for dots to always travel together forever. Not impossible, but very difficult.

First, the path must be similar. Next, the velocity must match. Perhaps the last part is the most difficult: maintaining these perfect conditions without allowing other dots to affect the course.

At this moment, I don’t want to accept that the paths have separated already.

I was advised to think of this as a “funny and unique memory.”

I am.

It’s difficult to consider that paths will never cross again. At least, it seems mathematically impossible.

At this moment, I need to figure out why this particular break feels so bad.

Although I can’t understand, I can bury the feeling. Up next, some ideas for burying the feeling 😁

Who is reading this? I’m curious about the amount of traffic that is coming to this site.

The site is set to discourage crawlers.

It’s a new site that shouldn’t be linked anywhere.

There isn’t a lot of content – certainly nothing interesting – for crawlers to index.

Yet, there seems to be some kind of traffic flow, which I can’t explain.

So, if you’re a person coming here to read this: Who are you?

Maybe it’s just h4ck3rs coming to trash my page. Maybe it’s spammers trying to send a comment selling their web development services.

It’s just odd. That’s all.

If you want to tell me who you are, email me mkfwhy this site.

On this page, there are no apologies.

My jokes are what they are. Sometimes they are funny and sometimes they are offensive.

Sometimes I laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

Sometimes I just like to sit in a little puddle of sadness. This is figurative. It’s not a literal puddle.

Sometimes I watch for a message. I’m not sure whether I’m sad or glad that it never comes.

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out why it matters so much. Does it? I think it does.

If you want to know a great joke, I’ll tell you what has made it easier.

Another time…

This site is intended to be a tiny island in a sea of sites on the internet. An island so small that it can never be found.

There is only one person who may be interested in this island.

I’ve written all kinds of nonsense and posted it here, but waves of regret overwhelm the beaches of this island and I hide those cursed musings.

At first, I posted some context for any stranger who might happen upon this experiment. I removed it because it doesn’t matter to anyone else. I know what this is about. One other person knows what this is about. It’s not the business of anyone else.

So, why am I still writing?

Whale, because there is always a message for my friend. The message is this:

I intentionally didn’t leave any hints about this place. There is no reason you should be here unless you were looking really hard for it. If you’re still spending time looking, then…?

I’m only here because it’s helpful for me to write about things.